When many brothers first meet a girl, they don’t know how to start a chat with a girl due to lack of experience. They will make some mistakes in a hurry. Here is the editor’s summary of the most common mistakes to make when chatting with a girl. Let your brothers know about the three major opening mistakes so that they can be avoided in advance.
The biggest mistake: Girls want to know you, but you avoid talking
This mistake consists of two reasons: A kind of mentality composition.
The first kind of mentality is related to the "hunter mentality" when taking the initiative;
The second kind is feeling that there is nothing to say about one's own situation.
Hunter mentality:
In the relationship between men and women, one party always takes the initiative, and the active party naturally plays the role of the attacker, just like a hunter hunting.
Therefore, the active party often has an illusion: he is the attacker, the girl is his prey, and he should know everything about the prey. As for the prey wanting to understand itself in turn? No need.
If a girl answers whatever she asks herself, wouldn’t the roles be reversed and she becomes the prey? This is so embarrassing! No hunter has ever been able to respond to the prey’s requests.
We can describe this mentality with the words "hunter mentality".
Out of this hunter mentality, you may feel that your resume is too thin and has nothing to say. So when some boys are flirting with girls, they will be vague and pass over some questions asked by girls who want to know more about themselves.
So there was this scene:
The man asked the woman: "What do you do?"
The woman answered honestly: "I am an accountant. , what about you?"
The boy looked at her and said, "I work for the boss."
The man asked the woman: "Are you an only child or do you have brothers and sisters at home? "
The girl said: "I am the eldest and have a younger sister, so what is the situation in your family?"
The boy continued to be careless: "Hahaha, wait until you become my daughter. Friend, you naturally know the situation in my family. "
"If I say it, I won't say it. Your perfunctoryness will give girls a very uncomfortable feeling: I have been seen through by you, but I am treating you. I know nothing, wouldn’t I be at a loss?
The mismatch in attitude and information will make a girl’s mentality unbalanced. She will either think that she has suffered a loss, or that the boy has some shady secrets, such as: cheating money. Cheating.
Brothers with a hunter mentality, originally you just wanted to adjust your posture and put yourself in the role of a controller who can control the entire situation. But the reality is that you are self-defeating. You are hinting to girls that there is something wrong with you!
The correct approach is: information exchange.
FirstFirst of all, brothers, you must understand one thing. If a girl is willing to learn about your situation, it is because she is interested in you! Do you guys hope that girls will be indifferent to your situation and ignore you? That is a big deal. .
A girl who is not even interested in knowing your name means that she has zero interest in you, and you will never catch her!
The second biggest mistake: cross-examining girls and getting to the bottom of things
There are two reasons for this mistake.
The first reason is also due to the "hunter mentality".
If a hunter wants to hunt prey, he needs to know the living habits and haunts of the prey well. The same goes for boys who are chasing girls. He wants to understand the girl's personality, hobbies and some situations around her, so that he can make specific plans to chase girls. So I couldn't wait to do something like questioning the girl.
The second reason is that there is no topic, but I don’t want to give up the opportunity to chat with her, so I keep asking questions to keep the situation going.
The second reason is that after thorough questioning, there is nothing to say. We often tell brothers that it is better not to have an awkward conversation at all. Awkward chatting will overdraw the goodwill between two people and make you lose the opportunity to pursue her.
So when you find that you cannot find a topic, it is best to find a suitable reason to interrupt the chat, and then restart the chat when there is a good topic.
Now we will focus on the first mentality.
What is chatting? Chatting is the use of language to shake hands and greet each other, and to exchange information.
To blindly question girls like this is to ask for it, only to ask for it, not to exchange it, and there is no mutual communication. This is very unequal! Girls will feel that they are being violated and being treated like you. The police treat them like prisoners.
So those brothers who ask girls again and again, you are overdrafting the patience and kindness of girls towards you.
She will be very unhappy with you...
As we said in the first question, we cannot avoid girls’ understanding of themselves and should exchange information.
The correct approach is this: after asking the question, and after the girl has finished answering, we will use the information given by the girl to spread the topic and have a normal chat.
For example, if you ask a girl what flavor she likes, and the girl tells you that she likes curry, then you can talk to her about topics related to curry cuisine.
"Oh? You also like to eat curry. My mother's best dish is curry chicken nuggets." When you need to change the topic, you can ask other questions. This way the chat will be much more comfortable.
The third biggest mistake: relying on imagination and randomly evaluating girls
Cold reading is when we first get to know a girl, we deduce more information based on some information she revealed in WeChat Moments or chats. More information will open up more topics. At the same time, it can also give the girl a good impression that we know her very well and improve the relationship.
But when some brothers use cold reading, they make people laugh.
For example:
I saw a girl saying that she had no time to chat at night and had to prepare for the exam...
"Wow, you are a top student! It seems that I will have trouble with my homework in the future I have a problem, someone can help me. "(Um, a top student? I just have poor grades, so I study harder, okay...)
The girl said that she had invited a friend to go to the bar for a drink in the evening...< /p>
"Queen of nightclubs, how about you bring your little brother with you next time?" (Who the hell is a queen of nightclubs? I just fell out of love, is it wrong to let my friends accompany me to get drunk?)
When I asked the girl what she was doing, she said she was playing games...
"An Yi, I envy those of you who have time to play games." (...I worked for 12 hours straight today and went home. It’s rare to relax, but now you have “time”?)
The above examples are typical logical errors. You rely on your own limited imagination to make random assumptions about the status of girls. Especially before chatting, it is a common problem for many boys to interpret the information in a girl's circle of friends and then use it as an opening line to strike up a conversation with a girl.
If a girl wants to prepare for the exam, it means she is a top student. If she is not a top student, she doesn’t need to prepare for the exam?
If a girl goes to a bar, she must be a nightclub queen? Isn’t it possible that she is the queen of the nightclub? Is this the first time in your life to go to a bar?
Just because you happen to meet her playing games, does it mean that she has too much time to use up?
This kind of illogical interpretation is very common among girls. The look in his eyes is ridiculous, indicating that this person is very subjective and arbitrary, and has a frivolous personality.
If you want to evaluate girls, you must abide by the Basic Law!
We should: not arbitrarily assign attributes to girls; not arbitrarily assert girls’ behaviors.
For example, if a girl talks about preparing for an exam, you can say this:
"Wow, if you work so hard, your grades will definitely be good. You have the potential to be a top student!"
p>
Saying this not only compliments the girl, but also does not embarrass the girl.
When a girl wants to go to a bar, you can also say this:
"That's right. Going to the bar to relax once in a while is the only way to enjoy life. If we have a chance, let's go together."< /p>
Did you invite the girl vaguely, but didn’t intrude on her rashly?
To evaluate the girl and achieve the cold reading effect, you must consider the results you derived and the original Logic between information.
When the information is relatively open and has multiple possibilitiesWhen doing so, you should not use an arbitrary concluding tone, but rather blur your inferences and strive to be cautious.
